Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Misdirections.

I accidentally told a customer looking to buy a calculator that they were located in Supplies. He did one of those walk-by-and-call-out-a-question-four-feet-away things, so I didn't get the chance to redirect him.

The second the words "downstairs, in Supplies" left my mouth, I thought: No! Calculators are upstairs! But I couldn't do anything. I wanted to quick catch him on the stairs, but I also didn't want to risk leaving the desk. With so many things to lock up, it's like I'm chained to it. And even if I did go searching for him, would I find him?

I waited for him to pass the desk again, so I could apologize for sending him on a wild goose chase, but he avoided me from then on out. Gosh. Sometimes it's better when customers make it a point to tell you you were wrong.

Update: Apparently, calculators can be found both upstairs and downstairs. Another customer asking for calculators let me know. I better investigate.

-Lima Bean

Monday, December 29, 2008

Customer complaints.

I had a customer mosey over to the desk the other day and tell me "I'd like to file a complaint." I started to say "OK, would --" and he interrupted me with: "Aren't you going to ask me what kind of complaint?" At that point I was thinking, Fine, I'll bite: "OK, what kind of complaint do you have?" Then, he said "Oh, nevermind. You were supposed to get all riled up, but you didn't."

He then headed for the downstairs and called back to me, "But you'll never forget me, will you?" No, I won't.

-Lima Bean

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Another Barnes and Noble Question...

A man walked up to the desk a moment ago and asked "if these books don't sell do they eventually go on clearance or something?" He was gesturing at the bargain books already, so I said that they are already deeply discounted from the original list price, and that I wasn't sure what happens to the books that don't sell. Then he said "So are you guys a part of Barnes and Noble, or.." To which I promptly responded "Oh, no, we are an independent bookstore. I'm still not sure if he completely understood.

-Badger Pocket

Friday, December 26, 2008

Highlights for week of Dec. 21

Below are customer highlights for the week of Dec. 21 during my shift, both on the switchboard and off:

Customer A: "Hi, I'm wondering if you carry a rubber duck. It's about two inches big and half of it is another animal."

B: "Do you buy gift cards?" (No, you do.)

C: (On switcboard) "Hi, I'm going to give you a number. It's a USB number."

D: (On switchboard) "Hello, Miss You-Know-Where."

E: "This coupon excludes the technology center. Does that include laptops?"

F: (On switchboard) "Do you sell earmuffs with sorority names on them?"

G: "You have a very nice, welcoming smile."

-Lima Bean

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Greeting cards.

I had a customer just ask me where the gift cards were. I told him he could get them at any of the cashiers. Then he said, No, the Christmas gift cards. I asked him if he wanted the cards that you can give as a substitute to cash. He said, No, the gift cards that you can send in the mail. Oh, OK! Cards are upstairs on the landing, etc.

Not 'gift cards.' It's 'greeting cards.'

Also: Ahh! I've accidentally been telling customers the store is open until 6 p.m. tonight when it's only open until 5 p.m. I checked the Holiday schedules in the binder to be sure, but they're wrong. I didn't think to check the Web site, too. I've misinformed about 7 customers! It's going to eat away at me. I hate this.

-Lima Bean

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Snow

"We'll be open until six today, weather permitting." - My new least favorite phrase. Also, I really hate the bird book.
~Montana

Saturday, December 20, 2008

First post!

I wish I'd known about this blog sooner. This is only my second week working at You-Know-Where, and I've already got lots and lots of stories. Mostly, they're about my inability to inform customers when it's my job to inform customers. No laughing at customers -- the joke's on me, guys!

I find myself saying "I'm not sure, let me check for you" more than I'd like. I just need to remind myself that the telephone is my friend. I've compiled my own FAQ list for the store -- sort of adding the answers to (strange) questions as I learn them -- but it doesn't help much. Customers have the knack of asking the questions nobody's asked me yet. Oh, wait: I stand corrected. A second man just asked me if the store carries legal documents. That was strange question number one.

Something interesting: The most-requested book today is Weather of the Pacific Northwest by UW professor Cliff Mass.

-Lima Bean

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Do we look like a chain store?

Customer: “I just have a quick question; can I use a Barns and Noble gift card here?”

What part of independent bookstore don’t you understand? NO! We don’t except chain bookstore gift cards here.

~Montana

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Holiday Season=Crazies

I had just finished telling my co-worker how this job has been slightly boring lately when I had one of the busiest nights in a long time. First, a firetruck and an ambulance showed up because a poor old woman had passed out upstairs. Then, two girls came up to tell me that there was a little dog tied up outside, shivering. They wanted me to page the store so the owner would know to bring in their dog. I thought that I had gotten out of doing the page when another customer told the girls that she thought the owner had come and gone with the dog already. Alas, no. So I ended up doing the page which I finished by saying "Thanks, Bye", like I was answering the phone. Lame. Then, I ended up having to do two more pages when a man was looking for his girlfriend/wife/sister/someone who had a terribly difficult name. He kept pacing next to the desk waiting for her after the first page, and then apparently when I was doing the second page I messed up the pronunciation of her name. Great. I long for the days before I possessed the knowledge of paging.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Loud Phone Talkers

How can you not realize that everyone on their mom in the store can hear you when you yell into your cell phone? Add to that people who sing with headphones on, and those who feel the need to sing out loud in general. I too enjoy the song Dream Weaver, but not when not sung off key to no music.

-Montana

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tuesday

This is officially the strangest customer I have had in the year I have worked at the bookstore.

What started out as your run-of-the-mill crazy just kept going. The crazy known as “free steak guy” To paint the picture; the man is slightly overweight, around 50 years old and walked with a cane. He had the beginnings of a beard and a total creeper stare.

He walked up to the desk and wanted to know where he can get his free steak. He said it jokingly, like some people do when they walk past thinking they are saying something really witty, when it totally isn’t. I explained to him that we were a bookstore and therefore didn’t have free steak, in the same witty tone. Then he took the entire stack (50+) of bookmarks off the desk and put it in his bag, since he didn’t get a free steak dinner. I was like…ok a little presumptuous but whatever, I’m not super attached to the bookmarks or anything. Then he was like, “do you guys sell bookcovers?” I responded with the answer and was like sweet…he might not be a crazy and even if he is whatever he is off in search of a product in another department. However my happiness was short-lived because he followed up with the question:

“Where are all the good-looking women who crave my body?”

I was like…really?
I thought that was the end then…

He came back looking for the steak dinner again. Based on the “crave my body” comment I was like…hmm might be a crazy after all, so I stopped the jovial witty tone and told him seriously that we don’t have steak at the bookstore. He responded with yelling “well then you’re fired!”. I just looked at him when he informed me that I should be ashamed because now I can’t spend the weekend with him at his mother in law’s house. Bummer.

As he gets ready to walk away he whispers “if you hear a thump that’s me falling downstairs”

I’m like ugh please leave. He goes downstairs for like half an hour. When he comes back upstairs (of course he would come back upstairs. OF COURSE), he stops by my desk (of course) and asks for steak again. When I said that we do not have steak he responded with:

“I will go home and cry. I will take my dog in the closet and we will drink and cry together”

Awesome. He makes sure to mention that this is my fault. While smiling, which is kinda creepy. Anyway he finally left (for now I guess, we still have an hour an a half till closing) and as I looked outside to make sure he had left, some guy stood in the foyer rubbing his ass. Vigorously. Also there was some rubbing of ass against garbage can.

Also, I really hate the bird noises book. People keep hitting the buttons and I now know all the noises that birds could make and none of them are pretty. They might be pretty in a forest, coming from a bird or something. But it is most def. not pretty coming out of a book.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Umbrella Hats

Customer: "I'm looking for umbrella hats."



I don't think anything more needs to be said.

-Montana

Monday, November 3, 2008

Robo-call

Senator Ed ‘robo-call’ Murray phoned the store today… I’m sure, had the store entity still been an undecided voter at this point, his call would have swayed their opinion tremendously.

-Montana

Saturday, November 1, 2008

you and me we gonna play chess

crazy chess guy was back again today. it has been awhile maybe 6 months since he was here last. he really wants books about chess half off. unfortunately he thinks the best way to get books half off is to lean on the glass at my desk, yell "i say chess books you say half off!". of course when i try to direct him to general books he thinks that it is personal (it is) and it seemed to encourage him to stay longer. he promises to come back next week to teach me how to play chess (please no) and if i lose i will buy him chess books. time for me to start practicing i guess...

-high tide

Friday, October 24, 2008

crazy cat gentlemen

homeless man walking past the desk: I love my cat it's people I can't stand.

haha

-high tide

Thursday, October 23, 2008

you're a doll...

Caller: hi my friend said you might be having a sale with like cheap electronics or something?
Me: yeah, let me connect you to the technology department and they can check for you
Caller: ah thanks you're a doll (sounded more like dawl).

the way he said you're a doll was super funny. He sounded really young too, because its not that surprising when older gentlemen call you a doll. but this guy sounded like he was in his early 20's...totally made my day

-high tide

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Silence!

Screaming children=not a good day at the concierge desk.

-Montana

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Un-informed

Customer: “Do you know about a race going on this weekend?”

Me: “Which race?”

Her: “Down at the stadium.”

Me: “I don’t actually.”

Her: “Well, they said you could sign up here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know anything about that.”

It really bothers me when things like this happen. Maybe it is true that you can sign up for the race here at the store but if no one tells us, not only do we end up looking stupid, customers get angry and the charity looses potential support. We’re supposed to be the information desk but no one ever bothers to keep us informed.

-Montana

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Not exactly what I was supposed to do...

A man came in a few moments ago and asked me where some mysterious object was. I still couldn't understand him after I asked him to repeat it, so I just said "ooh... probably down in supplies". I know that's not what I'm supposed to do, but this was the second customer in a row to ask for something unintelligible and I figured the supplies section is usually the catch-all dept. He still hasn't come back up the stairs and it's been about ten minutes so maybe it was down there! Or maybe I sent him on a wild goose-chase.
-Badger Pocket

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Potty Break?

I think a secret service agent just asked me where the bathroom is, black suit, ear piece and a pin with a green background and a gold star in the middle. I’m pretty positive that the pin is the same one that the secret service agents who where with former President Clinton wore when he was here last year. Also, after he walked back out the doors to the ally two black sedans with more agent type people drove past the entry way. Strange though that the person who talked to me appeared to be the only one who got out of the car. Secret Service agent potty break? I’m positive that neither the McCain nor Obama campaigns where scheduled to come through which then begs the question that if it was a secret service agent I saw, who was he with? Although apparently Joe Bidden came through Kalispell, Montana with out any real fan fare so I guess anything is possible. Or maybe I’m going crazy from telling people that the store, the whole store, is open until five today.

-Montana

Badger Pocket Comment: I heard there was a full out motorcade that came through the area that same day. Perhaps the two were related? You can just tell those Secret Service guys will pop open a can of whoop-ass at the slightest wrong move. Sexy! :P

Monday, September 22, 2008

Word Vomit

This customer probably thinks I’m a complete idiot.

When he asked where to find the geo-science books my response was to stare at him blankly while I thought about where the science books are located and finished chewing the bagel I wasn’t supposed to be eating. Unfortunately my blank stare and semi-response of ‘um’ was translated to thinking I needed the prompt of, “you know, geology?” This in turn prompted me to word vomit about not being back in school yet, my brain not working and how I actually did know what geo-science was. Oh, and then finally inform the customer that science books where in the back right corner of the store and that if he couldn’t find what he wanted the book help counter could assist him.

In my defense the store is super busy today, rush week, blah.

-Montana

Sunday, September 21, 2008

further textbook confusion

Caller: Hi I am looking for a book
Me: alright, is it a general book or a textbook?
Caller: well, it’s like a book to read…


Yes well that does narrow it down a bit doesn’t it!

-high tide

Clickers

Clickers and radio frequency cards are essentially remotes that allow professors with large lecture classes to poll their students. It’s like being in a game show, except that if you get the wrong answer it negatively affects your grade. However for some reason buying a clicker or radio frequency card seems to be a hard concept to grasp. Take this caller for example:

Girl:“Do you have clickers?”
Me: “Clickers are down stairs in textbooks with the cashiers.”
Girl:“Can I put one on hold?”
Me: “No actually, you just have to come in.”
Girl:“And you buy them, right?”
Me: “Yes, you buy them.”
Girl: “And where are they?”
Me: “Downstairs with the textbook cashiers.”

No, we give away clickers for free, just like we give away textbooks.

-Montana

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Saturday Madness

I was greeted by High Tide today telling me that today was the worst day she's had to work. After spending 15 minutes down here at the desk, I believe her. It's hard to hear when the switchboard is ringing, which is quite an accomplishment. This morning and early afternoon I spent cleaning my apartment and listening to my parakeet sing, and the atmosphere of the store today stands in stark contrast to my morning.
There are so many people here it's overwhelming when I try to hear people on the other end of the phone line. It's raining outside too so the floor is covered in water, and I'm waiting for someone to slip.
-Badger Pocket

Friday, September 19, 2008

highlights of the switchboard friday the 19th

Phone Call #1: me and a recent college grad


Me: Greeting

Girl: um why haven’t you given me my diploma yet?

Me: excuse me?

Her: I haven’t got my diploma and I need it

Me: You need to call the University for that

Her: (outraged) are you kidding me?

Me: No we are a completely separate company from the University and I cannot transfer you nor do I have the number

Her: seriously? Are you kidding?

Me: no. click

This wouldn’t be nearly as bad if she were a freshman, but the fact that she just graduated and still has no idea the university she attended for 4 years is separate from us is rather embarrassing..

Phone Call #2: me and a morbid old lady

Woman: do you carry the book “how to build your own casket?”


Phone Call #3: Me and accented woman


Woman: I want a prince Philip


sigh. don't we all. I wish we sold Prince Philip I would have picked that up years ago

and a fun stalker guy who called 9 times and would just listen, I could hear him breathing and hear an airport but he wouldn't talk no matter what I said...creeper

--high tide

Thursday, September 18, 2008

take you to the candy shop

a man with three kids came in today and asked if there was a candy shop on the ave...he seemed so surprised i said no. seriously? its the main street in a college area that has one of the highest homeless and drug addict ratios in the city and it is that surprising there isn't a lollipop store in the vicinity? goodness sir!

-high tide

Monday, September 15, 2008

High Five

Customer: "Do you work here?"
Me: "Yes."
Customer: proceeds to give me a high five while cheering.

Either the rushies are on some kind of weird scavenger hunt or the general public is more excited about the employees here than I thought.

-Montana

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Early Sunday Morning/Afternoon

Sundays are always crazy when we first open. Tons of people file in through the doors, and as soon as I turn on the switchboard the phone rings continuously. At least the new board doesn't ring while we're answering another call. Rush was this past week, and there has been a definite change in the area. I live a couple of blocks away from Greek Row, but I could still hear their cheers and screams, and this morning, their concert (?). At the store there has also been a change... today I spotted three sorority girls (their shirts told me so in bold font) wearing shorts that were so short their butt cheeks were literally hanging out below them. Classy!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

2nd Day Back Phone Log

One phone call inquiring about other store location hours.

One male caller asking to be directed to the make up counter.

One wrong number call.

One person who thought I was a recording.

One 'I might have just hung up on someone' call because the phone line sounded dead.

One person who wanted the extension number of the electronics section (but not to be transfered there).

One student wondering if the fall textbooks had been shelved yet...

Two hang up calls.

Eight calls inquiring as to how late the store is open. One customer managed to shake up this question by phrasing it, "how late is you guys open?" I wish I could respond "we guys is open until nine."

*As a side note, logging the phone calls today made me ridiculously eager for the phone to ring. Will they ask about a book? A textbook? Get supremely confused when you ask which kind of book it is they are calling about? Want to know the store hours? Or will they ask a question that someone has never asked before!

-
Montana

One last bit!

At the place of our employment there are many crazies who come in. Many of these people don't have a place to go and so they seem to flock to our store in huge numbers. While often quite sad/scary/depressing, it is also quite hilarious. One gentleman came in and leaned down to scream at the potted plant near the foyer entrance: "Extreme spring! Extreme spring! It's not fair! It's not fair!"
He was bent down so close to the plant his mouth was practically in the dirt, and he kept screaming for a while. I think the fellow employees figured he wasn't hurting anyone except their eardrums, so no one did anything and eventually he just staggered through the lobby and out the back entrance.

Bits and Pieces

I haven't updated in a while so I figured I would write a bit today about a few stories from over the past few days.

Similar to High Tide's textbook request experience, I had a grown man (whom I am going to assume was a father) who called asking for a book:
Me: "Is it a general book or a textbook?"
Man: "It's a general book for school"
Me: "So it's a textbook then?"
Man: "Yeah"
Oh, if only our high school parents could read!

After that gentleman there were two high school girls who came in and asked if our store had a pharmacy. This was on Sunday, and they said they had gone to the neighboring pharmacy only to be told it was closed, but that we had a pharmacy. Wrong, neighboring pharmacy.

That same day there was a fellow employee who stopped by my desk to grab some paper towels because something had been spilled on a children's book. I said "uh oh" to which she responded "it's okay, it's about a swamp."

One thing people regularly say that makes me chuckle to myself every time is when they ask "Can you validate me?" I know they're referring to our parking system, but it is still hilarious to me to think that someone is asking me that question without thinking about how it sounds. However, I had my first encounter with a customer the other day who joined in on the joke. After he said "Hi, do you validate? (pause, sarcastically) I would *love* to be validated!" He agreed with me that other people usually don't think about how it sounds when they ask me about the parking.

There was a girl who came in about a week ago who asked where she could find a 'clicker' and what they were. After I told her that they were similar to a remote and that you used them in lecture as a sort of interactive thing where you chose an answer to questions asked in class, she groaned and complained. When I asked her if she was an incoming freshman (the group which uses clickers most often) she said no, that she was actually going to be attending the Law School. I didn't tell her (but I wanted to) that she has a lot more than clickers to worry about with attending law school!

-Badger Pocket

Saturday, September 6, 2008

eavesdropping

A little girl, probably about four was in front of the desk talking while her parents mainly ignored what she was saying. Her logic was so beautifully four. She had just dropped a book and immediately responded with "well I am weak and sick. Weak and sick mommy. So you can't blame me mommy. You can't blame me that I dropped the book because I am weak and sick. There are too many books in a library. You can't blame me mommy." It was funny because she was not sick or weak, and she said everything with such nonchalance. I was glad they stopped in front of the desk.

--high tide

Friday, September 5, 2008

homeless people

most customers don't seem to mind our homeless community (some of them are homeless) but one elderly man today could not seem to handle that there are homeless people on the street we are located on. He ranted on and on in his white suit and fedora hat about how unsightly it was and how they shouldn't be allowed. He continued to complain didn't want to leave the desk until i called the police did (i didn't). Sometimes i egg these people on, agree when I actually don't or get a little entertainment mainly because i am bored but today i just didn't have the energy. really? does it matter that there are homeless people sleeping outside? did it hurt your experience at our location? are you unable to purchase our products because someone is sleeping outside? knowing our location they might be passed out in a drug-induced stupor and i know it can be unsightly but frankly, i am so tired and so grateful that when i am too tired to keep my eyes open another second i have a bed to climb in. if you spent a quarter of the effort you put into harassing me into helping someone else they might not have to sleep sprawled out in front of our store entrance.

at least the next guy was nice, who overheard the older man and responded with "what an asshole". yep my sentiments exactly

--high tide

Nothing Happening Here

I don't know if my shifts have been super lame lately or I am totally zombied-out from moving but nothing but the same old same old here.

However...the excitement is building

...first game day is tomorrow; lots of crazies on the loose!

...dorms move in soon; lots of freshmen on the loose!

...school starts soon; the panic will begin

--high tide

Monday, September 1, 2008

Sunday 8/31

First story. There is a woman who came in a few weeks ago and asked like a maniac and yelled at me about a coupon in the S.S. Guide. Apparently the gifts dept. wouldn't let her use the discount because she, gee, isn't a student. Anyway, last time she was pissed, so today I tipped off Eyebrow Ring Security Dude about her. He came back later and informed me that she's a regular and that most of the time she's okay but that other times he they have to tell her to 'cool it'. Then he got a page and had to leave. Turned out the page was about her harassing people down in the basement. Afterward, she came upstairs and asked me if the new coupon books were out! I couldn't believe that. But, yes I could. I have now seen enough crazies at *** to believe it.

Second story is about a man who walked up from the supplies and then by my desk, to be accosted by who looked to be his wife. Conversation:
Wife: "Where have you been? We've been looking all over! Where were you?
Guy: "I was downstairs. I told you I was going to be down there"
Wife: "No, you said you were going to be *up*stairs"
Guy: "I was downstairs"
Daughter standing next to her Mom: "Give us money!" (directed at Dad)
Wife: "What did you buy?" (gesturing at *** bag in Guy's hand)
Guy: "Pens"
Wife: flabbergasted "Wha.. pens? Let me see those! You bought pens?!"

There was also a Norwegian couple and their two sons who spoke strictly Norwegian, who were poking through the kids books for about an hour. The mom asked for advice on books to help teach her kids English- it turned out one of them was going into a class that would help him learn English, but that the other one was going straight into normal kindergarten without knowing a word of English. So I suggested Dick and Jane books and Dr. Seuss. One of the sons liked rhymes. The older son also had a bike which had all the bells and whistles of a kid's bike, which he stored behind the concierge desk.

And perhaps my favorite little kid story yet: a little girl was standing next to the Bargain kids table nearest the main stairway, when she suddenly spotted a book, and screeched "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom! Chicka Chicka Boom Boom!!!". She looked astounded to see the book anywhere else. It was adorable.

- Posted by Badger Pocket

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Saturday Evening

First, a man walked past my desk and shouted at Andy and I:
"Do you know what I saw today? I saw a timber wolf trying to be a husky at the QFC digging in a garbage can. Yeah!"
Then he kept walking down to supplies. I could barely contain myself it was so hilarious. He was walking so quickly and then he just said the whole thing as one long stream of a sentence.

About an hour later a lady came up and asked if we had a paging system. Halfway through my answer she saw her son and began to lecture him:
Mom: "Mark, you're 14 years old! Don't you think you're a little old to get lost in a store?!"
Son: "What." (not as a question, but stated as a sentence)
Mom: "I don't want to be here all day! We're just here to get you your fucking school supplies!!"
-- here the mom and her son had gotten halfway down the stairs to supplies, and I couldn't hear what she said. However, our wonderful security guy, Eyebrow Ring Man, followed them and filled me in with what happened next:
Mom: "You know what? Fuck it! If you don't want any school supplies for tomorrow then you don't get any!"
This whole episode was especially hilarious because the mom looked so quiet and I was surprised to hear such a loud voice come out of her mouth. She also didn't look quite old enough to have a 14 year old (young-looking lady) and her 14 year old son was also taller than her. It had Eyebrow Ring Security man cracking up too.

I also had a man call and ask if we carried "Avril Lavinge" (sp?) posters. Sad.

Okay, what are some of the strangest things you've had a customer ask you for? I just had a woman come up to the desk who was convinced that the store cut duplicate keys. I think people are convinced this store has everything. Once, I had a man ask if we carried 'ciggies' and another ask if we carried eye drops.

-Posted by Badger Pocket

Friday, August 29, 2008

customer quotes

best customer quote of friday 08/29/08

college-aged girl: so i need help finding a book
me: is it a textbook or a general book?
her: a general book (pulls out print-out from the university listing textbooks for a course)
me: is it on that list of textbooks for a university course?
her: yeah
me: its a textbook

so much time would be saved if our college students could read...

--high tide

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Conversation Ideas

So maybe to get us started we should each respond to a few prompts:

1. Weirdest phone extension request
2. Most off-putting book title request
3. Strangest lost and found item

Badger Pocket's answers:
1. "book supplies"
2. a variety of self-help titles (I especially love it when the person requesting the book whispers the title out of embarrassment. Also, I don't believe I've ever had a man request a title which sounded like a self-help book.)
3. One Sunday a man thought that someone had stolen his tiny composition notebook, and even designed two "posters" to put around the bookstore offering a $50 reward for his notebook. Turned out one of our fellow employees found it- he had dropped it while in the store.

High Tide's Answers
1. i can't remember the weirdest (there have been so many) tonight's favorite was the bible department. she called four times too
2. i don't get a lot of book requests since i usually send them to a different department. i have had people ask for sex advice books. that was awkward. oh and the guy who asked for porn! he was so my favorite. came up to the desk and asked me to direct him to the adult magazines. i was like. not so much
3. a lady tried to pay me for finding her address book. that was nice. no strange ones though

First Post

I have many observations I've written down over the months since I've began working for The Asylum (as it sometimes feels) but one of the most prominent is the behavior The Asylum's customers seem to have toward sneezing. I was employed at the height of my allergy season and at least once during each of my shifts I sneeze. That's a lot of sneezing, however, I have only had one customer say "bless you" in return. Over the course of almost four months.

A regular customer which I saw on each of my shifts for 21 days straight was a man who I refer to as "outfit man". He always wears the exact same outfit: a pair of tan slacks with a gray sweater vest and a blue dress shirt. He's an African American man with a cartoon-ish face, and I have never seen him purchase a thing. One evening he hobbled down the alleyway toward me as I ducked into my apt building after work, then the next night he asked for parking validation but he hadn't purchased anything, to which he responded "but come on, you see me here all the time!" I don't think he's poor, since apparently he had something to park at the store, but he's a mystery. Apparently he's also a homophobe. One evening he decided to share with me his opinions on a flamboyantly gay man, the "outfit man" referring to him as a "he/she".

Posted by Badger Pocket

upstairs downstairs

We get the "where are the bathrooms?" question more than any other question. Usually it is a simple straightforward answer, but for some customers it is more difficult than you would think..

Customer: Where are the bathrooms?
Me: right upstairs
Customer: upstairs meaning...like what?
Me: up the stairs
Customer: ohhh