Silly question.

"Do you work here?" No, I don't. I just happen to be sitting behind this desk and wearing an employee name tag.

-Lima Bean

No, not downstairs.

It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes a customer will misunderstand me when I say something is upstairs. I not only tell them whatever they're looking for is "upstairs," I also point up the stairs. It seems pretty straightforward to me. Yet, somehow, they must think I told them to go downstairs, because I'll occasionally watch a customer slowly descend into The Land of the Lost.

-Lima Bean

For Alex.

A little boy -- possibly age 5 or 6 -- looking at bargain kids books with his father and older brother, turned around and confidently said to me: "Excuse me, do you know where space books are?"

-Lima Bean

I am not a mind reader

On the phone:

Customer: I need some information.
Me: OK (expecting them to specify what type of information they needed)
Customer: thank you.

Because I can most definitely reach through the phone line, read your mind to ascertain your question and then transfer you to the correct department. Come on lady.

~Montana

Oops.

A man, who seemed quite flustered, stopped at the desk to tell me a quick story about how he was chatting with a 10-year-old boy while waiting in line to pay for something in the Gift Shop.

He said he told a woman looking to pay -- and about to cut in front of the little boy who was in line to buy a toy -- that she'd better let "him" go first. The little boy, who was actually a little girl, held up her hand to display painted fingernails and said, "What's all this 'him' stuff?"

He told me: "She's only 10 years old. She must get it all the time." He walked away muttering, trying to justify his slip-up to himself.

-Lima Bean