Saturday Evening

First, a man walked past my desk and shouted at Andy and I:
"Do you know what I saw today? I saw a timber wolf trying to be a husky at the QFC digging in a garbage can. Yeah!"
Then he kept walking down to supplies. I could barely contain myself it was so hilarious. He was walking so quickly and then he just said the whole thing as one long stream of a sentence.

About an hour later a lady came up and asked if we had a paging system. Halfway through my answer she saw her son and began to lecture him:
Mom: "Mark, you're 14 years old! Don't you think you're a little old to get lost in a store?!"
Son: "What." (not as a question, but stated as a sentence)
Mom: "I don't want to be here all day! We're just here to get you your fucking school supplies!!"
-- here the mom and her son had gotten halfway down the stairs to supplies, and I couldn't hear what she said. However, our wonderful security guy, Eyebrow Ring Man, followed them and filled me in with what happened next:
Mom: "You know what? Fuck it! If you don't want any school supplies for tomorrow then you don't get any!"
This whole episode was especially hilarious because the mom looked so quiet and I was surprised to hear such a loud voice come out of her mouth. She also didn't look quite old enough to have a 14 year old (young-looking lady) and her 14 year old son was also taller than her. It had Eyebrow Ring Security man cracking up too.

I also had a man call and ask if we carried "Avril Lavinge" (sp?) posters. Sad.

Okay, what are some of the strangest things you've had a customer ask you for? I just had a woman come up to the desk who was convinced that the store cut duplicate keys. I think people are convinced this store has everything. Once, I had a man ask if we carried 'ciggies' and another ask if we carried eye drops.

-Posted by Badger Pocket

customer quotes

best customer quote of friday 08/29/08

college-aged girl: so i need help finding a book
me: is it a textbook or a general book?
her: a general book (pulls out print-out from the university listing textbooks for a course)
me: is it on that list of textbooks for a university course?
her: yeah
me: its a textbook

so much time would be saved if our college students could read...

--high tide

Conversation Ideas

So maybe to get us started we should each respond to a few prompts:

1. Weirdest phone extension request
2. Most off-putting book title request
3. Strangest lost and found item

Badger Pocket's answers:
1. "book supplies"
2. a variety of self-help titles (I especially love it when the person requesting the book whispers the title out of embarrassment. Also, I don't believe I've ever had a man request a title which sounded like a self-help book.)
3. One Sunday a man thought that someone had stolen his tiny composition notebook, and even designed two "posters" to put around the bookstore offering a $50 reward for his notebook. Turned out one of our fellow employees found it- he had dropped it while in the store.

High Tide's Answers
1. i can't remember the weirdest (there have been so many) tonight's favorite was the bible department. she called four times too
2. i don't get a lot of book requests since i usually send them to a different department. i have had people ask for sex advice books. that was awkward. oh and the guy who asked for porn! he was so my favorite. came up to the desk and asked me to direct him to the adult magazines. i was like. not so much
3. a lady tried to pay me for finding her address book. that was nice. no strange ones though

First Post

I have many observations I've written down over the months since I've began working for The Asylum (as it sometimes feels) but one of the most prominent is the behavior The Asylum's customers seem to have toward sneezing. I was employed at the height of my allergy season and at least once during each of my shifts I sneeze. That's a lot of sneezing, however, I have only had one customer say "bless you" in return. Over the course of almost four months.

A regular customer which I saw on each of my shifts for 21 days straight was a man who I refer to as "outfit man". He always wears the exact same outfit: a pair of tan slacks with a gray sweater vest and a blue dress shirt. He's an African American man with a cartoon-ish face, and I have never seen him purchase a thing. One evening he hobbled down the alleyway toward me as I ducked into my apt building after work, then the next night he asked for parking validation but he hadn't purchased anything, to which he responded "but come on, you see me here all the time!" I don't think he's poor, since apparently he had something to park at the store, but he's a mystery. Apparently he's also a homophobe. One evening he decided to share with me his opinions on a flamboyantly gay man, the "outfit man" referring to him as a "he/she".

Posted by Badger Pocket

upstairs downstairs

We get the "where are the bathrooms?" question more than any other question. Usually it is a simple straightforward answer, but for some customers it is more difficult than you would think..

Customer: Where are the bathrooms?
Me: right upstairs
Customer: upstairs meaning...like what?
Me: up the stairs
Customer: ohhh